RESPITE: Day One
Preparing the respite provider right from the start
BY:FRAN SILVERMAN
Once you have chosen a center or found a person who can step in for you (see Finding Respite Care: Family & Friends, Finding Respite Care: Professionals), allowing you to enjoy much-needed respite, prepare the respite workers for your loved one's care. This includes telling your stand-in exactly what needs to be done for your loved one. This could include everything from what medications need to be given when to what personal-hygiene routines will require their help to what food the care recipient will or won't/should or shouldn't eat. Inform the respite worker about other medical aides, such as a physical therapist, who may be coming in while you are away and of any appointments to which the respite worker might have to take your loved one.
Carol Snow, RN, president and CEO of Central Coast Visiting Nurse Association and Hospice in Monterey, California, says most centers will request all the vital information they need to care for your loved one before allowing the person to stay. If hiring an aide from an agency, the agency also should request such information.
If you are hiring someone privately or you want to make sure to leave thorough instructions for whomever is providing respite, Snow suggests writing down all instructions, especially medical needs. Make certain to notify respite workers of any special needs your loved one may have that differ from people with similar conditions or disabilities. Also inform the respite worker of activities in which your loved one may not be able to participate.
"The most important thing," says Snow, "is to write down everything, including medications and medical issues, such as whether a person is subject to falls or dizziness or is more fragile than others. [That way] it won't be a surprise for the person taking over care."
Also provide respite workers with contact information for doctors and instructions for emergencies, such as to which hospital your loved one should be taken, if necessary.
Inform the respite worker as regards types of activities your loved one enjoys for entertainment. Does the person like to be read to? Is there a favorite television show she watches each day? A game he enjoys playing? A scrapbook she likes to pour over? Music he likes to hear?
"[Respite workers] will want to know about [your loved one's] likes and dislikes and what they want to do so [this] is not just babysitting,'' says Sara Myers, managing director of the National Adult Day Services Association. "They will want to know what will be safe and therapeutic."
Lastly, leave instructions with respite workers on whether you want to be updated on how your loved one is doing while you're away. Provide contact information, including how you want to be contacted-e-mail? cell phone?-how often, and on what issues you will want to be notified immediately. Remember to provide appropriate phone numbers and email addresses.
Your loved one's comfort level with the introduction of respite care might not be immediate. A transition period is not unusual. But, says Myers, "Forge ahead. Sometimes, if they experience it two or three times, they love it."