How Not to Lose the War with Alzheimer’s
Submitted by Debbie on 2008, July 14 - 13:23.
Last night Dad came to me with a very somber expression on his face. I asked if everything was okay and if there was something he needed. What he said was not what I expected to hear.
Dad: I need to get some of my messages.
Debbie: Okay, Dad, I can work on that. Which ones do you need?
Dad [in a very matter-of-fact voice]: I do not need the threats to the Emperor.
Debbie [trying to reason with him by presenting a logical response]: Which Emperor? I am sorry, but I think I am confused.
Dad: The Emperor of Japan, of course.
Debbie [with patience and in my best secretarial tone]: Well, I can certainly pass those messages to you. However, I do not believe we will be receiving any more.
Dad: Yes, well I am sure he receives death threats all the time and we will leave them to deal with it. I only need messages from my generals.
Debbie [trying very hard to ensure that there's been a smooth resolution to the war]: Okay, I can do that. But I believe the operation is over.
Dad: Of course not! The generals are still in the field with the troops. I must support my men.
Debbie: Yes, sir. I will handle it.
In the beginning, I was trying to make sense of his concern, attempting to find a logical answer to what I saw as an issue.
By the time we were done, I realized, it was MY issue, not his. Dad was having a testosterone-driven, macho moment. I was his secretary and he needed information from his men. I was trying to fix it for him, to ensure he was placid and happy, and that was not what he needed.
What he truly wanted was control, some type of professional interaction and respect. Don't we all?