Ripples in the Pond: Finances
Submitted by Debbie on 2007, September 27 - 14:20.
There's no denying it: Caregiving is a money drain. A financial hemorrhage. An asset depletion. Some of us start out better prepared financially than others, but each of us takes a financial hit when we decide to care for our loved ones. At any support group (which I consider any meeting of two or more caregivers), talk will turn to the financial impact this has on our lives.
Fact is, it was the financial hits that prompted me to become a caregiver advocate. Over and over again I would hear the same stories:
- Home repairs going uncompleted because the money was being spent on uncovered medical expenses
- Homes being sold so care could be afforded
- Parents moving in with adult children
- Adult children moving in with parents
- Careers being abandoned
The list goes on and on. And it made me indignant. How many sacrifices must caregivers make? We put our lives on hold for our loved one—willingly, with joy and love. But how much are we to give? I decided enough was enough. Caregivers need help and I was going to do what I could to convince our state and national leadership to donate to the cause.
I use my story when speaking with elected representatives to advocate for funding for programs to improve the life of our loved ones and caregivers. (Hey, we need help too!)
To care for my family I have:
- Spent my inheritance
- Exchanged my career for a part-time job that allows me the freedom to care for my family
- Found myself no longer in a position to save money for retirement
- Forced my children to cripple themselves with student loans to pay for college
- Taken out loans to fund the gap between student loans and college tuition (with no idea how I will be able to repay the loans, but don't tell the bank)
- Become accustomed to the idea that my earning power is only going to decrease
That is the financial reality of being a long-term caregiver.
Is this a choice I regret? No. Would I have done things differently had I known how things were going to be? Sure. (I would have made some wiser choices, like not investing in Enron, MCI or World Com stock.) But would I have chosen not to care for my family? Never!
I needed to take stock of our finances and to find a realistic way to pay for programs for my dad, my kids and myself. And I did just that. I made phone calls and used the Internet to find resources we could tap. I got creative and adjusted our standard of living. And I talked to the best resource—other caregivers!
We talked about how to work part time and be a caregiver, and how to convince an employer that granting flex time to a valued employee will benefit the company. We remind one another that it's okay to ask for help, that it's not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. And frankly, what caregiver is not strong? I challenge you to find one weakling. I know I can't.