And the Good News Is...
Submitted by mlichter on 2007, February 5 - 12:23.
Just when you think you are unique as a caregiver, you have dinner with others and find they are dealing with many of the same issues as you.
For example, the other night my girlfriend and I went out to dinner with friends to whom she'd recently introduced me. As we sat down at the table and started to discuss what's going on in our lives, the other couple and I brought up our latest caregiving issues: a mother with dementia who's not staying on top of her diabetes; a father who's Alzheimer's has reached a new (that is, worse) stage; a mother who's showing the toll that caring for her Alzheimer's-afflicted husband can exact.
This was not, we all quickly realized, the fun we were looking for during the rare chance we have to get together. And almost simultaneously, a couple of us came up with the same idea to help retrieve us from the impending caregiver funk that was threatening to not let us escape, even for an evening, from our caregiver mindset.
The idea is simple yet extremely effective. It goes like this: Starting with one person and proceeding around the table, each person must relate to the others something good that recently occurred in his or her life. It didn't have to be a big thing. It didn't have to be directly about him or her. It simply had to be a piece of good news.
The other guy brought up how his eldest son was accepted to three of the law schools to which he'd applied, and although word from his number-one choice was still to arrive, the news to date was great.
His wife showed recent pictures of her three sons, who, as they approach and reach adulthood, get to spend less and less time together. Those pictures demonstrated, however, just how much love they have for each other and you just had to smile upon seeing those three young men enjoying themselves so much simply because each was in the company of the others.
My girlfriend talked about the fun her daughter is having at college, facing both the challenges of classes and the zaniness of pledging a sorority.
And I (quite proudly) talked about the scholarships my college-bound daughter recently received and how her efforts garnered a grant to provide digital camera equipment for her high school's art department.
Did our caregiver responsibilities disappear? Of course not. Did we still have concerns about ailing loved ones that would weigh heavily on our minds? Absolutely.
But for that little while, we were laughing and proud and our minds were filled with happy thoughts. Our caring minds were at rest, at ease and at peace.
What do you do to find brief mental respite? Click on the "Add New Comment" line above to share your ideas with your fellow caregivers.