Caregiver Quicksand
We've all seen those movies in which someone falls into quicksand, gets sucked down and drowns. Reality isn't quite like that, but quicksand—even the metaphorical variety—sure can make life a struggle before you can get on with things.
According to research reported in National Geographic, "Quicksand thickens with time, but it remains very sensitive to small variations in stress. At higher stresses, quicksand liquefies very quickly, and the higher the stress the more fluid it becomes. This causes a trapped body to sink when it starts to move."
Basically, stress is the problem with quicksand, just as it is the problem with caregiving. And the more stressed you become, the more you flail and fight, the more you work against it, the more danger you place yourself in and the harder it is to escape.
"If you remain calm, you can actually float your way to safety," quicksand researchers have found. The key, then, is to relax and move at a slow and steady pace, avoiding rash moves.
So many of us have found ourselves in caregiver quicksand. You fall into it unexpectedly, maybe because your caregiving scenario popped up without warning or because you get swamped by the multitude of caregiving tasks that just keep mounting until you're immobilized. Then, because you're scared, because you're anxious, because you're uninformed or because you're not immediately surrounded by others who might be able to lend gentle assistance, you find yourself caught in a situation you think you can't escape.
Stop. Take a deep breath. As the quicksand experts advise, "Stay calm and eventually you'll float. Stretch out on your back to increase your surface area and wait until your legs pop free."
Calling for help isn't a bad idea, either. Once you're on top of the situation, you might need a helping hand to help get you on solid ground. That these people stay close to you while you continue on your trek through the caregiving jungle is a good idea, too. They could help you watch out for the danger signs so you don't find yourself enveloped by a mass of caregiver problems you think you'll never escape.
So, if you're looking for ways to relax or de-stress so you don't get caught in the muck and mire, click here for some life-saving advice.
Quicksand
Quicksand.........brings images of Tarzan and Jungle, humid tropical locations, hacking through a journey and then boom a party member is up to their neck. The suspense is wonderful and awful at the same time. Will s/he make it? How will the party survive? etc. I never would have thought of Alaska, but guess what, we have quicksand too! Yep, right outside of Anchorage are these silty flats that will give way. The suction is intense and the real danger is the incoming tide and deep waters that are literally ice cold. Lives have been lost there and locals know "Don't walk on the flats".
Marc, you nailed it on the head. Stress is like quicksand. Caregiving stress is a combination of quicksand and freight train. You never see it hit you and when it does you are sucked in. I am just floating to the top of my recent quicksand. Between my personal health issues, which have all resolved positively and my Dad's recent decline.....I hit quicksand.
I guess one could say "Physician heal thyself" or "Caregiver heal thyself", but it ain't that easy. Thanks to Marc's blog I see where I floundered and how I could have made it easier on me. Relax, stop, take a breath and you can float out of the mire. Well I did just the opposite. I became a whirling dervish and moved from one situation to the next never stopping to breathe.
Marc's blog reminds me of a caregiver 101 lesson. Stop and breathe. Put on your own air mask before assisting others. Valuable lessons these 2 are. And I see where I lost my way. I forgot to breathe and put on my air mask. I stayed in "the mother of all multi-tasking" mode until it ended. Man, if I had stopped, took a breath, focused, relaxed instead of running about to and fro.....my load would have been lighter.
So thank you Marc.