I was doing a little research, thinking about things that add stress to our lives, and I found out something interesting—becoming a caregiver doesn't seem to make the cut.

There are the usual suspects on the variety of lists I found, everything from death of a family member to marital difficulties to financial problems and changes at work. Making major purchases, such as computers and cars, seemed to get people uptight. And going to jail seemed to make people tense. Moving and major holidays got some buzz, too. But, as I said, becoming a caregiver didn't get serious consideration.

So, the only thing I can imagine is that whoever is making up these lists and stressor questionnaires has never been a caregiver and must not know anyone who is or has been. Somehow, these "experts" don't recognize the fact that being a caregiver makes you face the concept of death or serious health issues of a loved one, that it can dramatically impact a marriage, that it affects the way one can handle his or her job, that it can be detrimental to one's health, and that it might just keep you up at night—to name just a few of the factors caregivers face.

Why, then, do these experts not add caregiving to the lists of stressful life events? It can't be that there aren't enough of us out there. Right now the caregiver count hovers around 50,000,000 (yes, 50 million!) and it's expected to grow by about 50 percent (that would be more than 70 million) over the next 10 years.

Just know this: You know like I know that being a caregiver is a stressful situation. You have to make sure another's well-being is secured without neglecting your own, both on a psychological and physical level. And the most important thing you can do as a caregiver is to care for yourself as much, if not more, than you care for your loved one.

The statisticians may not recognize you, but we do. Check out this site's Just for You section to find ways to de-stress. Read the Caregiver Profiles and Lessons Learned to see how others handled caregiver scenarios. Find the humor (often hidden) in caregiving in Debbie Newsham's blog, My So-Called (Caregiver) Life. Share your experiences with the other caregivers who come to this site in the Forums section, taking advantage of both the opportunity to vent and to teach others what you've learned.

And, of course, you have no problem doing all these things since you are not facing a major stressor. Just ask the "experts."