I was talking to a friend and fellow caregiver recently about a caregiving project on which she is working. I reminded her of something I often forget: "Don't strive to make it perfect. Strive to make something that can be perfected."

Too many of us too often create a problem for ourselves by trying to get things just right. Well, it doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you get it close. The next time, you'll get it closer. But to frustrate yourself by trying to get what needs to be done done perfectly often can prove counter-productive. You spend so much time trying to get it done mistake-free that you have trouble getting it done at all.

I used to have a boss who prided himself on being a perfectionist. It's not that it's bad to try to accomplish something to perfection, it's just that it is an unrealistic and stifling goal. After many years, my boss finally got this into his head. We worked on a magazine together, and although perfect was the goal, it wasn't the reality. And with deadlines constantly approaching, perfect can be hard to achieve. What finally became the company mantra was: "Perfect is only a word in the dictionary."

When it comes to caregiving, you never know what obstacle you'll face on the road to perfection. A fever can pop up, a person can unexpectedly fall down, an assistant can unwillingly drop out, a new ailment can unfortunately drop in. Treatments that were working might work no longer. Appointments that were scheduled might have to be canceled—by you or by the doctor.

What you have to accept is this: You are doing what you can when you can as best you can. And when you make that your mantra, you will understand the essence of good caregiving—perfectly!