The Last Goodbye?
Submitted by mlichter on 2007, August 20 - 12:13.
I'm driving my daughter to college tomorrow, so yesterday I took her with me to see my mother. It was a chance to talk, to catch up, to share photos of Gillian's prom, graduation and graduation parties. It was an opportunity for Gillian to say goodbye to my mom, and for Mom to say goodbye to her only grandchild. And I couldn't help but wonder about the potential finality of these good-byes.
It is not that I expect my mother to pass away between now and when Gillian returns at Thanksgiving. It's more that I wonder how alive her memory will be, and what remembrance she will have of my now-adult child.
Will she remember only the redheaded toddler who would romp around the yard at her house more than a decade ago, or will she still have a complete image of the mature teenager she saw yesterday? Will she remember the little girl in the hundred or so photos displayed around her apartment, or the skilled photographer who is off to take university-level art courses? Will she remember only the tot she'd push in our stroller, or the woman who strolled with her and helped her with her walker?
I could tell from the tears welling up in my memory-challenged mother's eyes that even she was cognizant of these questions—and somewhat scared of the potential answers. She so wants to participate in Gillian's future, yet finds it so hard to remember anything but the faraway past. The recent events, the information about what is about to be—where Gillian will be attending college, what she wants to study—is so difficult for Mom to remember. And it made for a moment I will never forget.