She Made Me Smile
Submitted by susan on 2007, January 9 - 13:27.
A phone conversation I had last week with a caregiver I'll call Kay has had me smiling for days.
Kay called to ask how to begin investigating respite care for herself and her sister who are helping their elderly parents. Her folks don't need a lot of help yet, but when she visits she's been noticing inattention to details, some distractedness and a little less cleanliness, among other things. Whenever she's suggested getting them some help, however, her parents have balked. They're retired professionals who have the means to pay for cleaning and other assistance but dislike the idea of spending the money and having strangers in their home. I suggested that Kay call a local home-aid organization such as Home Instead Senior Care to learn about services offered, and then we chatted further.
Now, here's what made me smile. As Kay told her story, she talked about how her parents live an hour away, how she and her sister don't always agree on what her parents need ("older sisters sometimes think they know best") and how she has to concentrate on getting a new job as she was recently laid off. So, she said, "I drive to my parents, I visit with them and do what I can for them and then. When I've had a little bit of enough, I head home to do what I need to do."
"A little bit of enough!" What a perfect—and wise—way to express understanding one's limits and the need to keep life in proportion. It's a great phrase to remind us that we have to listen to our hearts and heads and do for ourselves when we need to. It also seems to have a little bit of a smile attached to it. I can see applying it to Saturday housework (that's easy!) and feeling totally justified in taking our dog Shadow for a little longer walk instead of chasing dust bunnies. And it's perfect to apply to caregivng hours and tasks, when possible, for all the right reasons.
What about you? Do you listen to yourself—then act—when you've had that little bit of enough? What do you tell yourself that makes you do so?