Thirteen years ago, when I assumed the responsibility of caring for my mother who had developed Alzheimer’s, I had no idea what that would mean. I often compare the time to having an additional part-time job. Now, as a support group facilitator, I continually see that caregivers take on larger emotional, psychological and physical challenges than they ever expected—or are prepared for. For these and other reasons, they often find help in a support group.

Addressing the Emotional Side
One of the first steps in becoming a caregiver is facing the emotional task of grieving the loss of the person you once knew, while adjusting to current and ongoing demands. Frequently caregivers hide their sadness because they don’t want to burden the person in their care. They are often isolated. Over time, they may slowly give up activities that involve friends and other relationships and unknowingly increase their chances of becoming depressed. Support groups offer a place to attend to feelings of sadness, loss, frustration and powerlessness as well as isolation.

Discovering Help, Sharing Wisdom
A caregiver support group can provide both camaraderie and information about resources. Learning how more experienced caregivers face various challenges can help those less experienced plan for the future. Caregivers also get to see how others cope with difficult aspects of an elderly or ill person’s health needs or personality. And, they begin to understand just how much they’re learning as they share some of their hard-earned wisdom with others.
Finding out about resources and how to enlist help makes caregiver groups especially valuable. Applying for nursing home placement, Medicaid and other services is time-consuming and daunting. Group members can offer short-cuts to help cut through phone menus and other gatekeeping technologies.

Finding a Group
Caregiver support groups are sponsored by hospitals, churches, synagogues, nursing homes, YMC- and YMHA’s, therapists and sometimes by employers. Some are open-ended, meaning they are ongoing and you can join any time and attend as long as you like. Others are close-ended, meaning you can join at the same time as others with the group lasting for six to 12 sessions. Meetings can take place once a week, every other week or monthly and are usually facilitated by a social worker or psychologist.
In selecting a group, you may want to try several until you find one where you feel comfortable. During meetings you’ll see what the facilitator is like, how the group is run and how various participants connect with one another. An effective facilitator tactfully balances the discussion between the more vocal and the less assertive members.

Caregiving is a time-consuming and emotional task. No matter how strong or in charge you think you are (or should be), you might find strength and resources in a support group of others who, like yourself, have taken on an additional part-time—or even full-time—job as a caregiver.