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CANCER: Caregivers' Silent Toll

Beware the high price of caring for someone with cancer

BY:MYRA DEMBROW

It may not be surprising that a recent study found that, even for patients who survive the battle with cancer, the toll can be heavy. But that same study, published in The Journal of Clinical Oncology, reports that caregivers may suffer more than the patients.

 

Twenty percent of the partners and 22 percent of the patients in this University of Florida study were clinically depressed, but the partners were more likely to go untreated. They also reported less “social support, spiritual well-being, marital satisfaction and more loneliness than survivors.”

 

“These findings highlight the importance of addressing the needs of family members who care for cancer patients, and who may be suffering in silence,” says lead researcher Michelle M. Bishop, PhD, research assistant professor, division of hematology/oncology, University of Florida Department of Medicine.

 

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Caregivers' Silent Toll

On July 15th, 2008 Stella says:

My husband is now undergoing chemo and radiotherapy for cancer of the tonsil and I can tell you it's hell. He was never sick - even a cold lasted 3 days at most, very active guy, very healthy - I'm the one who was always sickly - total role reversal. Will we get our lives back? will we enjoy life like we did before? will he be cured?

talk about a roller coaster of emotions - some days I'm fine - I "stay positive" like everyone advises me too but other days I'm a basket case, weeping while driving to work, in the washroom...and of course, this results in a feeling of being a whiner, no backbone etc.

I really think that this is an illness that doesn't strike just the one that has it...it's a very lonely time for caregivers and there doesn't seem anything they can take to "get well" but just have to grin and bear it and put on a brave face.

Good luck with all of you who are going through something similar

Silent Toll

On July 16th, 2008 mlichter says:

Stella--What you are experiencing is difficult, but true of most who suddenly find themselves thrust into the caregiver's role. If you're concerned about outcomes, as your questions indicate, don't be afraid to call the doctor to get a better understanding of the disease, the treatment and realistic expectations. Go to websites to learn more about it. The more informed you are, the more at ease you will be.

Don't think of yourself as "a whiner." You have been put in a situation you never anticipated and you need time to adjust. A good way to do that is to remember to take some time for yourself. Do something, even a small thing, each day that makes you feel good, feel happy, feel calm. And don't feel guilty about doing something for you when your spouse is ailing. The alternative is that both of you will be ill because you won't be caring for yourself. Caregivers who don't take care of themselves often fall victim to depression and related ailments.

A good source of support for spousal caregivers is the Well Spouse Association. You can find out more about them in our article, "Ten Minutes With...Richard Anderson." Richard is president of WSA. You can also go to their website at wellspouse.org.

Good luck to you. Good luck to your husband. And don't forget that there are 2 people in your care—your husband and you!