Caring Today Community -

• My Story

I knew something was wrong when she turned over a photograph of a president she did not like so that others could not see the image. She would have never done that! She started loosing purses, keys, documents etc. Reason? Forgetfulness, I thought. She would hide everything. She trusted people. Why hide things? The way I reasoned her behavior was that there were no locks at the Assisted Living Facility. She was securing certain important items. At the time I worked ten to twelve hours a day. I did not analyze the situation. The time I had with her was for doctor appointments, banks, shopping, errands, and taking care of bills.

Then, I drove her to the Hospital. Later I found out it was for bowel obstruction, dehydration, and cleaning her system from over the counter medicines. This is when I realized something was seriously wrong with her mental state. She asked the same question over and over again. She thought the staff was trying to kill her. She read the same page of the novel over and over again. This is a lady that read two to three books a day.

I knew there was something wrong but I did not understand it was Alzheimer’s.

I am now happy to answer the same question over and over again. I take every question as if she has asked it for the first time. Paranoia! I tell her that either my self or someone with authority has taken care of the problem and that it will not happen again. Then I transfer attention to something else. If she asks for someone that passed away I say “everyone is happy and doing well”. Again I transfer attention to something else. When she relays something that has not happened I do not argue. If it is bad I say everything will get fixed. If it is a good it is easier. I smile and say that’s great.

I will not argue her reality. It is real for her.

My biggest challenge is trying to convey to family members what Alzheimer’s is. I am constantly learning. I can only convey my experience. I know she is changing. At first I had no idea it was Alzheimer’s. Today my challenge is to know and understand everything about Alzheimer’s.

Alzheimer’s will affect everyone differently. Sometimes Paranoia will affect you for seven days, sometimes never, sometimes for a moment. You don’t know.

I break often because I wish I could do more for her.

My lesson is to live in the present. Now is all that we have. The past is gone. The future is unknown.

My mother the beautiful lady I am writing about lives NOW. That is all she can remember.

Please do not ask someone with Alzheimer’s “Do you remember?” The answer is no.

Place yourself in the situation where a person recognizes you and they know everything about you. You have no idea who they are. That is what it feels like to have Alzheimer’s.

Place yourself in an unfamiliar place where you have gotten lost. Remember that feeling? That is what it feels like to have Alzheimer’s.

Have I inspired someone? I believe no one but I hope everyone. Inspiring one person would mean the world to me.

Mom I dedicate this to you.