Caring Today Community -
New Caretaker
Hi, my name is Annie, and I am a new caretaker for my husband Marc. To make a long story short, he was diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma in December 2007, after having his right kidney plus tumor and a small spot on his right lung removed by laproscopic surgery. All in all he felt good after surgery, he returned to work 10 days later (he is 43 years old). But now he is on Sutent, a form of chemo, as a preventative as he is a Stage 4 with a high risk of recurrance. This Sutent is kicking his butt. He is only just starting his third week of his first series, and he has experienced: nausea, taste changes, loss of appetite, vomiting, chills, mouth swelling, sensitivity, loose bowels, heartburn (nearly constant). He shuts down when he's not feeling well, and I worry. I worry he won't eat enough. I worry he won't sleep. I worry he isn't telling me everything. And I worry that I'm not reacting right. I get mad at him at times for closing down. I get mad at myself. I have horrible thoughts that make me cry everyday (when I'm alone, not around him). I keep reaching out to everyone I know and it's still not enough. Am I normal?
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New Caregiver
I think you're normal. My husband had a stroke when he was 48 and I worry about him all the time. He forgets to take his pills, and does things that scare me all the time. Sometimes I get so mad at him and even have thoughts of leaving and I feel awful. I also get mad at God for letting this happen. I also have an elderly aunt and elderly mother-in-law that need help and its very frustrating. So sometimes I have to go somewhere and throw something or kick something it helps.
New Caregiver --Annie
Hi, I read your story, and if you weren't normal, I'd be right there with you. Because I've experianced all that and then some. My Husband has Parkinsons and Dementia. No two days are the same and the stress in a day can be unreal. I've cryed and yet I find laughter every chance I get. If you don't have Humor in your life, caregiving is not easy. I'd like to tell you a humorous story that just happened to us about two weeks ago. We were sitting on our Love sit, when He decided to get up, but he didn't have his walker and he was reaching for somethung, I said what do you want and He said, Jesus, Jesus. I thought he saw Jesus. But what he was really saying was Cheez its , cheez its. They were sitting accross from us in a bowl. He has Dementia, keep that in mind. He has many delutions and Hallucinations. So I just thought it was just another Hallucination. I hope that will give you a laugh for today, Laugh, it helps. Your Friend, Myrt