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Take an inventory of what we take for granted

Hi there,
I am one of five siblings who share (informally) the various C'areas'of care giving that arise.
Our mom has been living alone since '93 when my dad passed. Now at 80 she is beginning to lose track of things most of us take for granted. In the world we live in, if e.g. you lease a car, that information is public and saavy marketers use the basic lease information to design their direct mail pieces to look very official. So on the phone today, my mom said "I got a postcard, my car is up soon". I called the dealer just to check on the facts and the lease isn't up until June of 07. Something you and I take at face value an direct mail ad, triggered an emotional response in her. What she thought she was reading created a nagging fear that she may lose her car soon (not based on reason, based on fear ). A recent episode with her where a minor surgery interrupted her ability to drive (she now only drives only during the day Thank God, she decided on her own to stop driving at night two years ago). That temporary limitation in her mobility cut into her psyche deeply and instilled a fear in her about becoming isolated.
My point is simply that everyday things in areas we don't give second thoughts arise and can cause an irrational sense of fear in our loved ones that we don't and probably can't fully comprehend. Approach your cared for's life as if you know nothing about it and inventory every aspect of their daily living so that you make sure there are checks and balances on all aspects and areas. Sounds somewhat superfluous but it never ceases to amaze me what simple daily task will begin to daunt my mother next.

‹ Uncooperative Parents Balancing Act ›

Comments

The Inventory's a Great Idea

On December 13th, 2006 mlichter says:

Great idea, ConnCarer. Knowing when each bill is due, when mortgages are paid up, where bank accounts are, what investments exist, when doctor visits are scheduled, what meds are being taken, etc., are all important for good caregiving. Although it seems like a lot to organize, in the long run it makes life easier. And, there are tools to help. Check Research and Resources under Health Guides on this site for more on an organizing tool called The Guide for Good Care in an item titled For the Record. Another tool you might look into is called Elder Organizer: A Journal of Information for Family Elders.