TESTING YOUR LIMITS
The art of setting boundaries
Being a caregiver, it's likely you are more comfortable caring for others than for yourself. Geriatric care consultant Anne Rosenthal, offers these tips to help you establish limits to protect and care for yourself:
Develop realistic expectations about the rewards and limitations of being a caregiver.
Always communicate in a caring, loving tone. For example, tell your elderly mother that, unless it's an emergency, you are able to talk to her only once a day.
Don't exhaust yourself or you'll be of no use to anyone.
Establish your right to take care of yourself; it's not selfish to practice self-care.
Carve out time for just you—take a walk, listen to music, practice yoga or guided imagery, meditate.
Acknowledge all you do for your loved one.
Let your loved one know he is on your mind even when you are busy with other pursuits.
Speak up for what you need. Are there family members or friends who can help? Even if they are out of town, can they visit, send a card or make a phone call to your loved one?
Remember: Everything is negotiable and you're doing the best you can.
Accept yourself and your loved one as you are.
Read a good book on setting boundaries, such as Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend or Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine.
