2008 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: Diane
"My Two Best Friends"
My biggest blessing was the day my husband and I brought Mama home to live with us, six months after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Getting enough sleep and pre-planning became my two best friends.
Each week, I prepare her pills and make sure that the foods she likes (especially the snacks) are in the cupboard. As she becomes pickier about eating, I try to make the food on her plate attractive and colorful with carrots, broccoli, squash, corn and sweet potatoes. She will eat those.
Four years ago, when she first came to live with us, we went shopping, out to eat, or to visit friends. Now, she doesn't want to go anywhere. So, each week I create an imaginary grocery list. I tell her that we need to go to just one store, and she agrees! I include going by the bank drive-thru or gas station, which makes our outing last about an hour. She always enjoys this and gets some extra exercise.
I work two days a week. On those days, my husband cares for her. He makes sure she eats and takes her pills. They watch old cowboy movies. He babies her and she loves the attention. They often sneak ice cream before supper. He encourages her to engage in conversation, which is getting more difficult each month.
Being an only child, I have no siblings to share the care and emotional challenges of Mama. Sometimes, I stand in the shower and cry. I miss my Mama who raised me, laughed with me and gave me wonderful advice. We watch her soap operas together, because it's getting harder to follow the storyline. It's so hard to see her slipping away, a little each week.
Alzheimer's Disease has two victims-the patient and the caregiver. A caregiver can't survive without support. I began going to support group meetings before Mama came. Talking with other caregivers and facility workers gives me new ideas to try. Sometimes, I share solutions I've discovered that can help in certain circumstances. The best advice I've received and can pass on is: "I have to go to her world, because she can no longer come to mine."
Usually, Mama sleeps until 10:30 a.m. My husband and I have our time together before 10 a.m. Friday morning is our "date night." We go to breakfast before she gets up. Once a year, we get a week of respite care. Knowing she is being taken care of gives us a few carefree days together.
Understanding the progression of Alzheimer's, I've been concerned about the additional personal care Mama is going to need, especially on the days that I work. If I won the contest,the prize would go towards additional assistance for my husband on those days. Occasional day trips for my husband and me might also be possible. Knowing the additional help is available when needed would be a sense of relief about her future care.
—Diane Lozier, Leesburg,FL
Winner of $500 in free respite care
From Home Instead Senior Care
Cares for mother, DorisPalmer