2008 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: Helen
"You Are Never Alone"
I have been a caregiver for my mother, Ossie Davis, for seven years. She is currently 86 years old. She had a bout with kidney cancer, which resulted in the removal of one kidney. Soon after the surgery, she was given a clean bill of health. Nine months later she had a massive stroke that left her totally disabled. Mom was placed in a nursing home for three months following the stroke. After seeing her in that situation, I knew in my heart that I could not let her stay there. I had to gether home with me. With the help and support of my husband Jimmy, I resigned from my employer and began taking care of her full time.
The first week was total chaos. I couldn't sleep and she didn't sleep either. She began to pull at the feeding tube in her stomach. I quickly began to question what I had gotten myself into. My bedroom was upstairs and hers was downstairs. I spent many nights running up and down the stairs, from room to room. During that time, I did a lot of crying and praying. I still knew that my mother was not well and desperately needed me. I pondered how my life drastically changed in such a short period of time. My life was no longer my own. I'm very thankful for the support of my family.
Soon after mom came home, a hospital social worker scheduled a home health aide, physical, occupational and speech therapist as well as a nurse to assist with my mother's care. It gave me a rare chance to relax and I learned numerous tips on how to best take care of mom. When they were no longer coming, one of my good friends came to help me.Slowly, things began to get a little easier. Gradually, mom began walking with assistance. She started to eat and was talking a bit. Then one day, she had her first of many seizures. With each seizure, her doctor began increasing her medication, which made her sleep all of the time. Consequently, I decided to change her physician. Mom is a little better now. She is alert, smiles, holds your hand and sometimes, says a few words. I thank God for every day that I get to spend with her. I feel very fortunate to be able to care for her. I was able to encourage a friend who is going through the same thing. On this journey, I have found that you are never alone. A Home Instead caregiver would give me a chance to get out of the house and do some things with my husband who has made insurmountable sacrifices for my mother and me. He has supported us with his time, patience, finances and most of all, his love. I would also like to spend more time with my extended family. It would be nice to do some of the simple things that others do. Thank you for your consideration.
—Helen Buffington, Elyria, OH
Winner of $500 in free respite care
From Home Instead Senior Care
Cares for mother, Ossie Davis