2008 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: Naomi
"Wife, Mother, Daughter, Caregiver"
Throughout my life, I've been a daughter, wife, mother and caregiver, like millions of other women. Somewhere far in the sidelines of my life, I am an artist, a small fragment of my identity now. The first need was to care was my husband. His health went from robust to frail after lung damage put him in a wheelchair with 24-7 oxygen for ten years. We lived in near isolation in New Hampshire's White Mountains. Both Brandt and I lived more on the germ-free internet than the real world. Late one evening he rose from his chair, felt dizzy and fell, fracturing his left hip. The fracture was mild, but with the stay in the hospital came pneumonia, a condition my husband's lungs could not fight. He sank into a coma and passed away four days later in August 2006.
After Brandt's passing, I wanted to leave NH, along with my 30-year old son, Geoffrey. We restarted our lives in Ohio: there were more employment opportunities, and we were near my eldest daughter and only grandson. We arrived the night before Thanksgiving, but by Christmas my son's back pain became worse. His pain escalated—I called 911 seeking help. My son was diagnosed with Anaplastic Large T-cell Lymphoma, and so began my life as caregiver to my son for the months, weeks and sometimes only days at a time that he was able to remain at home. My son passed away November 17, 2007. He was an inspiration to everyone who knew him, and aside from learning to manage his IV ports and a myriad of complications, I learned first hand what real courage is.
By early February, it was apparent my 85-year old mother could no longer live alone. Her difficulties getting around were ever increasing and she was experiencing falls. My siblings were talking "nursing home," but Mother saw that as putting her on an ice flow. I was living alone for the first time in my life; it made sense to me to bringmy mother here to care for her.
I see to it that her medications are dispensed properly, that meals are healthy and not skipped, that she gets to doctors' appointments, or tend to her hygiene. We all thought Mother was just a little senile, but the truth is my mother suffers from moderate to severe Alzheimer's. Some days are okay, while others could be likenedto a rollercoaster ride of confusion. I realize all this sounds like tragedy and/or sacrifice, but it comes with the peace of mind that you make the lives of people you love better, less frightening. Providing comfort in times of worry, security when afraid, or sometimes just a shared laugh or memory speaks volumes. I tire of people telling me I'm an inspiration-there is nothing inspiring in what I do. But, to them, I'm much more than an artist: I'm family and the hope that each day might be a little easier than the one before.
—Naomi Beck, Waynesville,OH
Winner of $500 in free respite care
From Home Instead Senior Care
Cares for mother, Wilma Carolyn Simpson