2008 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP : Sandra
"My Inside-Out Approach"
My day-to-day experience has been an interesting and challenging one. I am currently a caregiver for my mother, who is 71 years old. Over a year ago, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo surgery and radiation treatments. It was then that I began my caregiver experience. I immediately decided to make adjustments in my own life (day-to-day) to support the emotional and physical challenges that my mom would have. I strategically and diligently worked hard to incorporate a more flexible schedule. This would enable me to help my mother daily.
In June, 2007, I left my full-time job and became an independent consultant. With much prayer, I embraced my new role as caregiver. I began by asking myself How can I make my mother's life better? I answered my own question by visualizing a more stress-free day-to-day life. To minimize stressors, I first encouraged my mother to express her feelings. This was an "inside-out" approach, and became a vehicle for healing. She began to reflect on her experiences and about her thoughts on mortality. I learned valuable information during this exchange, and we bonded. I also looked at my mother's environment (her home). It started to appear dark and dismal. So, as I entered her home, the daily routine became opening the blinds. Let there be light! There were chores to be done, which included washing dishes, cleaning several rooms and assisting with cooking at times. I noticed that my mother's eating patterns were changing. She rarely ate meals anymore and began to lose weight. Ensure, the liquid food in a bottle as I called it, became the meal of choice. Eventually, there was improvement.
Traveling was always a joy for my mother. Upon retirement over 15 years ago, my mother started a home-based travel business. My parents took many trips, and my mother planned trips for others. But in recent years, the incentives and business aspirations have dwindled. My husband and I have begun taking trips with my parents. At times we drive, and at other times we facilitate alternate means of transportation. We accompany them to support and encouragement and to add to their quality of life.
I believe that our caregiving experience has inspired others, primarily other family members, to give of themselves unselfishly to the needs of our aging loved ones. This includes lending a helping hand, offering encouragement and being active listeners. The services of Home Instead can definitely make a difference in my mother's life by offering assistance in the home, by providing peace of mind and lessening the financial burden associated with having these services. It will also allow the caregiver to have a break! What a nice opportunity for all involved!
—Sandra Goldring, Baltimore, MD
Winner of $500 in free respite care
From Home Instead Senior Care
Cares for mother, Lorraine Thompson