2008 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: Shelly
"A Life Turned Around"
Sandra is 71 years young, independent and always involved with her great grandchildren. She was involved with the historical society and socializing with friends. Unfortunately, in October 2007, she suffered a massive stroke, which caused her to be confined to her bed.
Prior to her stroke, Sandra's granddaughter would call her every morning. This particular morning she called and got no answer. My husband wasn't too far from her house, so he went over and checked on her. He found her on the bathroom floor. Since that day, Sandra has been in and out of the hospital (including ICU) and rehabilitation centers until February 2008. That's when she came to our house. I am her daughter. Doctors said that she needed 24-hour care and strongly recommended we put her in a nursing home. That was not an option in my eyes. She arrived at our house lethargic and with a feeding tube and on oxygen. I could only give her wet swabs for her mouth. My husband and I set the alarm for every three hours to change her and rotate her so she wouldn't get bed sores. I shortened my hours and worked weekends so I could be home by lunchtime to takecare of her. My husband takes care of her when I work weekends. (We hired Home Instead Senior Care for when we both work.) It is good for her to see different faces. My husband and I watch movies and play trivia games with her. We tell funny stories to make her laugh. It is really nice to see her laugh again. We exercise 15 minutes a day. We watch to make sure she doesn't choke when eating, which can take more than an hour. I have to make sure I give the right medicine at the right time. She is now alert, eating soft foods independently and off her oxygen.
This experience has impacted our lives in many ways—feeling physically and emotionally exhausted when she has a bad night and we are up all night, to feeling strong and confident when she makes improvement.
I now have a new perspective on the importance of being an advocate for ourselves and loved ones. We have come to realize that in a moment, life can change and how it affects everyone who loves you. It certainly makes you put things in perspective and consider what is important in life and what is trivial.
I am told that I would be rewarded some day for the good care that I am giving my mom, but in reality, I am being rewarded now just seeing my mother improve.
We are given the gift of life. Being able to give that gift back by caring for someone else is what life is all about. Many people, including doctors, have said that Sandra could not improved like she has without the love and care Mike and I give her. I feel that is what caregiving is all about.
—Shelly Miller, East Fallowfield, PA
Winner of $500 in free respite care
From Home Instead Senior Care
Cares for mother, Sandra Robertson