2009 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: BETTY
"When the Laughing Stopped"
My mother, Murrel, started showing signs of Alzheimer's about 8 years ago. They were slight signs-just enough to make my husband and I have to sit down and make decisions. She had always been there for us and we knew that somehow we would "fix things" so that we could be there for her. We decided to sell our business and move here with her. To say it has been harder than we thought is an understatement. We had to leave children and grandchildren and our home. We wanted to enjoy my mother before this disease took control. However, it took control sooner than we expected. She knew what the doctor had told us about Alzheimer's but we were both sure we could deal with it. We laughed at the silly things she would do. Laughing was what we did best. But, the day she asked me who my daddy was and where is he was the day my whole life came to a halt. He had died a few years before and they had been married for over 50 years. This was real. This was not a game. This was not funny anymore. This was going to be the mountain I had to climb.
The hardest part for us was her not knowing that she was slipping into oblivion. At that time, we had to make the decision to take the car keys away, make sure the stove was turned off, keep the doors locked and lock the pantry so she wouldn't open boxes just to see what was inside. I spent most of my days looking for things she would "hide." She cried. I cried.
When the laughing stopped, the panic set in. I decided I needed help. I am truly blessed with a helping family but something was lacking. I didn't even know what I needed, but my doctor did. She put me in contact with Senior Care.
I had never had to go anywhere for help and I was reluctant to start now. After all, I had run a business for 42 years and I could certainly take care of my mother. Boy, was I wrong! Senior Care put me in touch with hospice, support groups and a list of certified respite caretakers. It is amazing how much help is out there if we just seek it.
I cry often. I am sad most of the time. I miss the freedom I use to have. I even feel sorry for myself from time to time. Yet the joy I feel when she recognizes me and smiles is worth it all. It is what I yearn for.
Our grandchildren have learned caregiving is a 24/7 job. We miss a lot of their games and recitals but they understand. They have learned the true meaning of "priority." We would make the same decisions if we had it to do over. We believe caregiving is just another word for "love".
—Betty Atkinson, Crawfordville, FL
Winner of $500 of free respite care
from Home Instead Senior Care