2009 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: KAYE
"The Agenda"
"What is on the agenda today?" That is how each morning starts. My name is Kaye Stephens and I am the caregiver for my mother Alice Stearns, who was 91 years young this past Memorial Day...and those are the first words she says when her eyes open.
I am the oldest of Alice's three daughters. She says that she decided to come to live with me because we have so much in common. Most of my life she has been my "buddy." I believe that my sisters and I have peace of mind knowing that Mom is cared for is such a loving home environment and that she will live a longer life having things to looks forward to.
I make her meals (only things that she likes-catfish is her favorite) and serve them to her with her hot tea (don't forget the spoon). I take care of her clothes (wash, iron, help her dress) and give her showers. I color her hair, put rollers in her hair, comb her hair and paint her fingernails. I put cream on her face, but she puts on her own make-up (don't forget the lipstick and eyebrow pencil). She loves to look pretty. She has taught me that pretty is on the inside as well.
I take her to her doctors, dentist and audiologist. We sit together in waiting rooms where I read magazine articles to her.
We live in a cottage at the New Jersey shore with a small white dog named Jake and two kitties, Molly and Izzy. My mother is a wonderful caregiver to these pets. They even follow her into the bathroom. Jake has to make sure she is dressed every morning and then he will take a break and lay down in his bed beside her chair in the living room.
Alice and I go places together. We go shopping. We go n cruises. We go to birthday parties and weddings. We go to the Jersey Boys' Coffee House, which is four blocks away, for a cappuccino. She always takes them flowers and enjoys talking baseball with them. We are Mariners fans. We watch Mariners games into the night (as they are usually playing in Seattle and it is three hours later for us).
What I learned from Mom is patience, forgiveness and unconditional love. Since she has come to live with me I have gone back to church. I thank the Lord everyday that she is here with me. She is my best cheerleader.
I read a chapter in a book each night while we are lying in bed before we go to sleep. Then we pray for the President; his family; the soldiers, sailors and all those in the armed services. We pray for peace in the world. Then we pray for our family. Then we tell each other, " I love you." Then we go to sleep with Jake, Molly and Izzy on the bed with us.
—Kaye Stephens, Leonardo, NJ
Winner of $500 of free respite care
from Home Instead Senior Care