2009 “Give a Caregiver a Break” RUNNER-UP: PATRICIA
"Adversity Makes Us Stronger"
My name is Pat and I am 66 years old. I am a caregiver for my mother June who is 88 years old. Three years ago my mother came to live with me. She was having difficulty living by herself. Even with my older sister's help, she was forgetting to pay her bills, not bathing herself, not eating well and being reclusive. After moving in with me, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, confirming what we expected.
I was apprehensive about caring for her because I was going through a difficult time myself. After 30 years of marriage, my husband and I had separated and were talking about divorce. I had also had an adult son living with me who was struggling with addiction to drugs and health problems of his own.
I knew it would be a difficult challenge to care for her and I didn't know if I was emotionally stable enough to take on the job. I knew it was a big commitment, but I wanted to give it a try.
A few months after she moved in with me, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Another big challenge! With the help of my son, I managed to have a lumpectomy, endure 18 weeks of chemotherapy and 6 weeks of radiation while still caring for my mom. Two and half years later, I'm cancer free. I believe by helping me with my mom, my son has improves also.
My mom's disease has progressed to where she does not remember her grandchildren, my two sisters or me. She calls me "mommy." She can't dress herself, clean herself or communicate with her words. She used to always have a smile on her face, but lately she cries a lot. She can't watch TV, read a book or take a walk. I still drive her to day health care three days a week, where she is in a homelike environment designed for persons with memory loss.
Caring for my mom has been the hardest job I have ever had and my biggest challenge in life. It has put me through a roller coaster of emotions. Many times I had to put my own problems aside to care for her. It has made me practice patience, feel compassion, deal with frustration. It taught me to accept the trials and hardships that come our way in life and learn from them. They say adversity makes us stronger. I believe that is true.
Many of my friends and family ask how I do it? The only way I can answer that question is that I made a commitment to my mom. My faith in God gives me the strength to keep that commitment as well as to try and find some good in every situation and to appreciate each day we have.
—Patricia Burpo, Puyallup, WA
Winner of $500 of free respite care
from Home Instead Senior Care