2009 "Give a Caregiver a Break" FIRST-PRIZE WINNER: CHRISTINE
"Incredible Resolve"
My new job title, one I never applied for is, "caregiver." I have taken care of my Mom, Edith, is now in late stages of Alzheimer's, for the past four years. I have closed my business—my corporate lifestyle and traveling is now over. Our roles have reversed.
My day begins with taking my Mom to the bathroom, bathing, dressing and then feeding her. In the midst of doing all these things, I have learned to sing to her, off key of course, and most of the time, through hidden tears. I can't get a good nights sleep since my Mom sleeps with me.
I have the challenge of living in an area with a large elderly population, yet no affordable respite programs or any budget for Alzheimer's. After months of trying to get help and becoming worn out from trying, it became apparent help was nowhere to be found. I decided to take this challenge on. I asked my pastor if we could use the church facility. I met with other caregivers and started our own one-day-a-week respite program.
I have no life as I can't go out without arranging sitters. I have limited help from my siblings. All the responsibility falls on my shoulders. Most days I feel like I am in prison. I no longer have my best friend, my mom, to talk to because she is lost in this horrendous disease. Besides, she's lost the ability to speak. Everything I do is a chore from feeding her to making sure she doesn't wander.
Getting help would be a gift from God. It would get back on my feet physically, financially and emotionally. I need a break to get my sanity back, to feel as if I am among the living.
After learning firsthand how difficult care giving is, I organized and hosted a successful "Care for the Caregiver Day." We honored four caregivers with a day of pampering. I put the entire program together from start to finish, asking community business to get involved. Since I am an aesthetician, I provided four relaxing facials and arranged massages, flowers, lunch, manicures, pedicures, two hours of house cleaning and four hours of respite care for the winners. It was exhilarating to be able to give back to other women who are facing the same challenges. This will now be an annual event and is covered by local media, giving attention to the neglected job of care giving.
I am stressed in ways I never thought possible, yet, at the same time, consider it an honor to take care of the most wonderful mother in the world.
I struggle both physically and financially but I know that I have done all I can to make the last years of my Mom's life as comfortable as I can. It is my desire that I never have to remove her from the home she loves and that I can continue taking care of her where she feels the most comfortable.
—Christine Christina, Port Charlotte, FL
Winner of $2,500 in free respite care
from Home Instead Senior Care