4 TIPS TO A SANER DAY
From time management to a focus on friendship, these ideas can help
BY:MARY ELIZABETH TERZELLA
Skip a Few Errands
The secret to a saner day? On today's to-do list, jot down only the three or so things you must do. Leave off chores that can be postponed for a few days or indefinitely. “You're setting yourself up for stress by listing more things than you can do in a day—and by not penciling in playtime that will leave you refreshed and more productive,” says Carole Pearl, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Ramsey, New Jersey.
To tame your daily to-do list, create a master roster of tasks and pastimes for the next month and rank them as A, B or C, suggests Dr. Pearl. “A” items are must-dos, such as work, a doctor's appointment or your pottery class. “B’s” are things that you could do next week, such as going to the movies or shoemaker. “C’s” are those chores that can wait indefinitely, like cleaning out your closet. Each day, reassess your priorities and create a short list of “A” tasks. Once you’ve crossed them off, you can add a B or C goal—ideally, a fun one—or simply enjoy some well-deserved downtime.
Focus on What Really Matters
Facing a situation guaranteed to rattle your nerves? Before you, say, go to your doctor or ask your boss for more time off, think about what you truly value in life, such as your family, faith or parenting skills. A UCLA study suggests that pondering something meaningful to you may temper your body’s production of cortisol, a stress hormone shown to impair memory and immunity.
Only half of volunteers who completed questionnaires causing them to contemplate their top-rated value before taking two anxiety-provoking tests had an increase in cortisol, compared to 82 percent of participants who didn’t do so. “Reflecting on what’s most important to you seems to be a buffer against stress—and it is a protective resource you can call upon whenever you feel anxious or upset,” says UCLA graduate student David Creswell, the study’s lead author.
But don’t wait until you’re under the gun or hit a rough patch to acknowledge deeply held convictions, cherished relationships or prized talents. “Findings from the study suggest that it may be beneficial for caregivers who are under chronic stress to make value affirmations on a daily basis,” says Creswell. “This can be a potent stress protector.”
Be Your Own Friend
If a friend failed at something, you wouldn’t call her a loser or the misstep a catastrophe. So why not be as easy on yourself when things go wrong? Treating yourself kindly when you falter can ease your recovery from failure or defeat, suggests recent research from Wake Forest University.
After a slip-up or setback, subjects with higher self-compassion were apt to think, “Everybody goofs up now and then” or “In the long run, this really doesn’t matter,” rather than “This is awful” or “I am such a loser.”
“When something bad happens, being very self-critical and focusing on disappointments or blunders only adds to your distress,” says lead researcher Mark Leary, PhD, now a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. And beating yourself up may make it more difficult to bounce back from rejection or failure.
“We found that highly self-compassionate people actually took more responsibility for their shortcomings and problems,” notes Dr. Leary. “But because they didn’t dwell on them, they were able to admit their mistakes and move on.” What’s more, after receiving unflattering feedback, they were happier and less angry than less self-compassionate subjects.
To develop a compassionate mindset, “treat yourself with the same kindness you would show a friend in a similar situation, even if you don’t feel good about yourself,” Dr. Leary advises. Recognize that everyone falls short or strikes out at some point in life—and tell yourself that you are going to get past this.
Rally Your Spirits with a Song
Whether you do it in the car or at church, singing may make you happier and, perhaps, even healthier.
So suggests several recently published studies. For instance, most members of a British university choir reported feeling less stressed and much happier while singing. On a similar note, a University of London study found that 30 minutes of either solo or choral singing eased tension and boosted people's energy and mood. And University of Frankfurt researchers found that people in an amateur choral group felt more positive after rehearsing for an hour than after listening to music for the same length of time.
What's more, only singing raised levels of immunoglobin A, an infection fighter that can protect against colds and flu. According to study leader Gunter Kreutz, PhD, singing may have the same positive effects on health as meditation and walking.
Karaoke, anyone?