What's a caregiver's most important quality?
Victoria: Patience, patience, patience! You don't know every reaction you'll get. You have to understand you won't always get the response you want.
Kathy: She's right, right, right! But you also have to have faith and believe there's something out there beyond you that you can tap into, that you're being watched over even though the way seems dark.

Is there anything you'd have done differently?
Victoria: I'd have researched brain injuries so I'd know what he was going to go through. I didn't expect the outbursts, though each person is different.
Kathy: No, because there are no hard-and-fast rules in a case like this. You have to keep adjusting to what that person needs each day.

What can you do for yourself as a caregiver?
Victoria: Caring for someone means taking care of yourself, too! You have to stay focused and have other interests. I work out a lot. I've also gone back to school nights to finish getting my degree in criminal justice so I can be a police officer. But now I want a nursing-assistant minor.

How has this experience changed you?
Victoria: Overall, patience was the most important thing I had to learn. I've always had it with children, but it's different with adults. This has helped me understand my brother.
Kathy: It's taught me not to sweat the small stuff. People worry about so many things, but life is too fleeting. I was worried about my job, but then I told myself—it's only a job. Everybody's alive!