WHERE TO LOOK WEDNESDAY
Knowing how to talk to your loved one's doctor is an important step in care management
BY:ALLISON CHRISTY HOOVER
A visit to the doctor's office can be nerve-wracking and frustrating for both you and your loved one. Dealing with doctor lingo, figuring out the best time to talk to the doc and knowing the right questions to ask are just a few common caregiver concerns.
But good health-team communication is imperative; so much so that the American Medical Association even published a book entitled American Medical Association Guide to Talking to Your Doctor (available in libraries, at bookstores and online). Another book that could help is The Handbook for Mortals by Joanne Lynn, MD, and Joan Harrold, MD, which includes a foreword by former first lady Rosalynn Carter. For an excerpt specific to talking with doctors, click here.
Here are five tips from Barry J. Jacobs, PsyD, author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers—Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent:
1. Simplify the physician’s job. Actively support the doctor’s efforts by being her eyes and ears, closely observing the effects of various treatments on your loved one. For example, you can keep a detailed log of your loved one’s blood sugars, blood pressure, temperature, oxygen level, sleep patterns or toileting. You can also report on your loved one’s behaviors—grooming, feeding, social interactions, etc.—to provide essential data on how the patient is managing with the activities of daily living. Also, you can make yourself indispensable by playing the essential role of messenger, conveying written and verbal reports from one doctor to another in a timely fashion. The doctors will come to rely on you as a trusted deputy, a virtual case manager who helps coordinate treatments.
2. Ask how the doctor prefers to communicate. Some prefer to talk on the phone while others like e-mail. Ask your loved one’s physician about his preference and then direct all your efforts to communicate with her through that channel. This will convey your respect and likely get you quicker responses.
3. Understand medical-office scheduling. Medical offices run on specific time templates. For instance, the morning session may run from 8:30 to noon, during which the physician will see patients every 10 minutes; the afternoon session may run from 1:30 until 5:00, with the same time slots for visits. It’s worth asking what template your loved one’s physician uses. If you and your loved one don’t like waiting,, schedule appointments for the first slot of a morning or afternoon session; if you don’t mind waiting, schedule your appointment for the last slot of a session. If you believe you will need more than one slot’s time allotment to fully cover issues of importance, ask for a “double slot.” This will not increase your co-pay, and physicians generally don’t mind double-slotted appointments.
4. Be organized to increase efficiency. Convey your concerns in a pithy, organized way at the beginning of the visit. If the physician accepts e-mails, send a detailed message identifying both information and questions that you have at least two business days before the appointment, thereby allowing the doctor the opportunity to review the information and prepare responses. Or, present the physician with a typed list of concerns and questions at the start of the appointment, so he can peruse the information upon entering the room. The list will help him structure your time together in a way that meets your needs for guidance and meets his needs for efficiency.
5. Offer praise. If you believe the physician is ably taking care of your ill loved one or has excelled at answering your questions, tell her so. Better yet, write her a thank-you note. The physician will not forget that note’s generous words, and you can be sure that she’ll do all she can to win your trust and approval again as you proceed forward together.
For other online resources to help you cultivate a comfortable, collaborative relationship with your loved one's primary-care physician, click on the names of the organizations below:
Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality
540 Gaither Road
Rockville, MD 20850
Phone: (301) 427-1364
American Cancer Society
(800) ACS-2345
National Eye Institute
2020 Vision Place
Bethesda, MD 20892-3655
(301) 496-5248
(Information here is for patients at any doctor, not just an eye doctor)
National Institute on Aging
Building 31, Room 5C27
31 Center Drive, MSC 2292
Bethesda, MD 20892
Phone: (301) 496-1752
Download the free pamphlet, Talking with Your Doctor: A Guide for Older People
National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases
National Institutes of Health
Osteoporosis and Related Bone Diseases
National Resource Center
2 AMS Circle, Bethesda, MD 20892-3676
Telephone: (800) 624-2663
National Kidney Disease Education Program
3 Kidney Information Way
Bethesda, MD 20892
(866) 454-3639
National Library of Medicine,
National Institutes of Health
8600 Rockville Pike
Bethesda, MD 20894