2007 "Give a Caregiver a Break" GRAND PRIZE WINNER
"The Team Player"
BY:TERESA HOOPER
Photography by Fran Collin
Sara is 83 years young and has always been an active, independent woman who loves gardening, sewing, canning fruits and vegetables, and making preserves. But now, after the onset of one health issue after another, she is totally disabled.
First came asthma, chronic bronchitis and heart problems. The side effects of prescribed steroids, including prednisone, left her with diabetes and osteoporosis. As a result of the osteoporosis, she fell and broke a hip, which reduced her mobility and caused her to walk with a limp.
She bravely handled these problems and continued her independent lifestyle until stricken with macular degeneration. That's when she surrendered her last liberty-driving. Not being able to see was the one thing that really defeated her; she could no longer read her Bible—her favorite book and inspiration.
This spring she was stricken with unbearable back pain and underwent surgery. During the procedure, five ribs were fractured, which caused additional pain. The culmination of the pain, surgical trauma and medications has left her frightened and confused. She now is on oxygen and needs round-the-clock care. My two sisters and I currently are trying to meet all her needs. We provide care on a rotating basis so that each of us can keep our jobs, which we all need to do. The demands, both physically and emotionally, are daunting.
The hardest impact from this situation has been to see our mother in this condition—unable to see, hear, bathe, eat or even walk without assistance, often confused, forgetful and frightened. We have cried, felt guilty and helpless, prayed together and listened to each other. We have joined together to work as a team to try to keep our mother in the familiar surroundings of her own home. We are learning as we go and certainly realize how confining, exhausting and expensive this commitment can be.
Through this experience, each of us has learned how fragile life can become and how unprepared we really are when faced with a caregiver role such as this. We have learned the importance of sharing our time and our lives in order to allow another person to have a better existence for whatever time they may have left. We have learned that life does not always take us where we want to go. We have learned selflessness and humility, and we've learned to think about our own mortality and appreciate each day we are given with health, strength and guidance from a higher power. We have learned that, without a good core support of family, this could not be done.
We've also learned all of us are vulnerable and that old age and sickness are not easy issues to deal with under any circumstances. We have learned to admire and respect our mother for all that she gave us in her "good" years, and for trying to be so strong for us in her fragile years. We are still learning...one day at a time.
—Teresa Hooper, Cullowhee, NC
Grand-Prize Winner of $5,000 in free respite care
from Home Instead Senior Care