2007 "Give a Caregiver a Break" RUNNER-UP
"Attitude! Attitude! Attitude!"
It has been two and half years since my husband had his first stroke. It would not be honest of me to tell you that it has been easy. Two and half years—and five strokes—later, our life has changed completely. Being ten years younger than my husband, I tease him that he knew what he was doing when he married a young bride. He filled my life with joy for many years, and now it is my privilege to bring comfort to him. Approaching three years of 24/7 care, my body is tired but my spirit soars.
As for me, the caregiver, I have learned:
Not to panic when something goes wrong, but to work through it
That, if today is a bad day, there are better days to come
That life has become a roller coaster ride, both emotionally and physically, so you
must hang on tight and try to laugh even if you are scared to death
That, in adversity, you discover who your friends are
That a tiny deed can lift a heavy heart
I pray that when this season of my life is over, I will never forget the gift of caring. I have learned many lessons, and many of them I have learned the hard way. The most valuable one has been "attitude, attitude, attitude!" When it gets right down to it, I have to live with me! If I am happy, crises don't seem quite as big. Finding the humor in Five-Foot Me trying to figure out how to get Six-Foot Hubby up off the floor sure beats getting frustrated or crying!
Life is so uncertain. Our family experienced the overwhelming change in a matter of seconds. I remind myself when I get weary that this could be the last diaper I have to change. I want my husband to feel the love I have for him if this is his last memory. I want to remember that the last care I gave my husband was given in tenderness and kindness. When my head hits the pillow at night, I fall asleep counting my blessings and my heart smiles. Sure, I have the occasional, unexpected pity party, but I try to make it as short as possible and invite as few people as possible!
Today is my honey's seventy-seventh birthday—one we never thought we would have. No, the celebration wasn't one with candlelight, flowers or a special meal. Yes, there was a lot of hand-holding and many extra kisses throughout the day. We shared many fond memories and counted our many blessings. I did the talking and he did the smiling!
We are surrounded by loving friends and family. Therapist, nurses and other professionals who support us have become our friends and part of the family. People of all ages express their admiration for my strength and the spirit in which the care is given. It is all in the attitude!
—Elizabeth Baker, Arlington, VA