2007 "Give a Caregiver a Break" RUNNER-UP
"His One And Only"
I just had a birthday! It was my seventy-eigth! Some of my neighbors remembered because it was Flag Day. Robert, my husband, also remembered. He called out to me from his room. He sees the time and date on the television when he turns on the news.
Robert and I have been married for 24 years. Twenty-two years ago, he had a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. I had taken a trip to visit my son in Ohio. When I came into the house upon my return, Robert was barely alive. This was so hard to see. He had just retired from the police department and we were looking forward to enjoying time together.
Shortly after the stroke, he had a massive heart attack. Diabetes was diagnosed, and four years later he had surgery for a leg amputation. I am his one and only caregiver. After all these years, I still make him laugh to raise his spirits. We pray together and we sing the old tunes together. It is only crying that I do in private.
Sometimes it becomes so difficult never to have time for me. We live on a small pension. There are no extras. A person to come into my home would be a luxury we could not afford, though it is my dream.
If I had someone to help, I would like to revisit my son in Ohio, the place I had gone to when Robert had his stroke. My grandchildren visit, but I would like to see them in their home. I would like to play with them in their yard and have them show me where they go to school. I know they understand, but I think they are told to do so because it's hard to believe it's okay with them. They are still so young.
I will take care of Robert as long as I can. When we were first married, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. He stood by me as a newlywed; I will do the same for him. We had plans when he retired to enjoy life to the fullest. We didn't know it would be the simplest things in life that would be so important to us—a bowl of ice cream for dessert or a good movie on TV are what we look forward to.
I am grateful to have Robert. He is the love of my life. I will never complain out loud to him. I secretly admit I would like to have a day or two to see life beyond my current world. That might give me the strength to continue to be the best caregiver I can be! It's just a simple wish, and I guess it never hurts to wish.
—Flora Bogacki, Lombard, IL