WHEN CARING BECOMES PLURAL: Lessons Learned by Gail
Photography by Fran Collin
I have to make a real effort to get my needs met, like getting to the gym. I need that exercise and I'm hoping it will help me avoid diseases like arthritis. The other day I ran three miles on the treadmill, but I had to stop and get home in case the van brought Mom back early from the center. It's like having a baby to to take care of.
I also joined an Alzheimer's support group, though I'm not usually one for groups. I wanted to learn from the other people. Now I find I can help them, which makes me feel good. I'm only able to get there every few months, but the leader gave me her email address so I can contact her with questions.
I benefit from the experience of friends. The things you learn! I found out that Medicare would pay for a wheelchair. I took Dad to an outdoor concert in the chair. Mom didn't want to go because it was chilly and she was afraid it would hurt her arthritis. But Dad enjoyed it; he's always loved music, and I've found that the more stimulating activities I supply for him, the longer he can stay awake.
I'm learning to be more patient, especially with my father. It's a slower learning curve with Mom, especially Sunday mornings. Try making breakfast for six people! Recently, I asked my brother to help out by taking them somewhere one Sunday a month. Do I resent him because the burden's more on me? No, because I think everyone's accountable for their own actions. I'm just doing what has to be done.