BUDGET YOUR FRUSTRATION
Put the Appropriate Price on What Worries You
BY:MARY ELIZABETH TERZELLA
Sure, major traumas like job loss or divorce can ratchet up your stress level. But so can life’s little hassles—a long line at the supermarket, work deadlines, a computer snafu. In fact, research shows that minor annoyances can cause more unhappiness than major upsets, probably because our defense mechanisms kick in when things are unbearable.
So how can you learn to take everyday irritations in stride? Assign monetary values to frustrating situations to help you put problems into perspective—and don’t stew or worry more than they’re worth, suggests Dan Baker, PhD, co-author of What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better and director of the Canyon Ranch Life Enhancement Program in Tucson, Arizona.
“You wouldn’t spend $100 on a $5 item, so why spend big emotional bucks on a small-change problem?” asks Dr. Baker. A long wait, for instance, might be worth $5 of emotion; a computer glitch, $25; a caregiving crisis, $100.
Valuing the emotional price of frustrations can stop you from blowing problems out of proportion or getting angry or upset about things you can’t control or change, says Dr. Baker. “Like money, we have limited emotional resources. The penalty for ‘overspending’ is stress-induced illness.”
Another strategy that can stop you from turning emotional molehills into mountains: Ask yourself if a problem will matter in 10 months, or 10 minutes, advises M. J. Ryan, in The Happiness Makeover. “The more you practice perspective, the less you’ll get knocked over by every little bump in your path.”