THE 40/70 RULE
7 steps to better communication
Extensive research led by Home Instead Senior Care and Jake Harwood, PhD, professor of communication and former director of the graduate program in gerontology at the University of Arizona, determined many adult children of aged parents have serious communication problems that make caregiving more difficult. As a result, Home Instead and Dr. Harwood created "The 40/70 Rule." The goal is to understand that by the time you're about 40, you should be having discussions regarding myriad issues with your near-70 parents so that medical, financial and social concerns can be dealt with more easily.
To assess your child-parent conversation style, go to www.4070talk.com for a 15-question survey. Then learn what you're doing well and get suggestions for changes you might want to make.
The program also offers these "Seven Tips to Help Boomer Children Communicate with Their Aging Parents":
Get started. If you're 40 and your parents are 70, it's time to begin carefully and thoughtfully observing and gathering information.
Talk it out. Approach your parents with a conversation about your observations.
Sooner is better. Talk now rather than waiting until after a crisis has occurred.
Forget the baby talk. Don't patronize. Remember, you are talking to an adult.
Maximize independence. Look for solutions that optimize strengths and compensate for problems.
Stay tuned in. Continue to observe and ask questions. Be sure, for example, that your parents are still involved with their friends.
Ask for help. Seek expert advice from care providers, agencies on aging, local senior centers and others.