Legal Issues

I don’t have any family or close friends, so to whom can I assign powers of attorney?

“You should start to think in terms of professionals who may be available and willing,” says Vincent J. Russo, an elder law attorney practicing in Westbury, NY. “You could ask a trusted financial advisor, a lawyer or an accountant.”

Another possibility, says Russo, is to “have your assets placed into trust and have someone you might see yourself relying upon named as trustee.” The trustee situation is not perfect, however, because “some things may come up that a trustee has no control over. For instance, a trustee can’t sign an income-tax return. Power of attorney allows those kinds of powers.

“Sometimes,” Russo adds, “people will say, ‘I’m not a hundred-percent comfortable naming a [power of attorney] agent, but if I did become incapacitated, then I would.’ Some states have a ‘springing’ power of attorney. That means, when you sign it, the agent you name does not have authority to act for you immediately, only if a triggering event occurs, or ‘springs up.’ You would list what the events might be.”

People keep telling me my parents should assign me power of attorney. What makes this so important?

Without a durable power of attorney, says Mark W. Worthington, partner of Smith Worthington, LLC, in Worcester, MA, and president of the Massachusetts Chapter of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, Inc., "no one has the authority to manage your dad's financial affairs, deal with his solely held assets—including IRAs and 401(k)s—and sell or refinance the home he owns jointly with your mother, if, let's say, he becomes incapacitated."

They each should, adds Worthington, have both "a durable power of attorney and a healthcare proxy. The former grants you or someone else your folks trust the power to handle nearly all non-medical affairs; the latter, medical matters."

I overheard someone mention an "ethical will." What is that? Does it require a lawyer?

"An ethical will is essentially a letter to your loved ones and future generations in which you may share with them your beliefs, life experiences, and hopes and dreams for those who will read it," says Joy Elbaum, a lawyer who has authored numerous articles on the topic. "Ethical wills-which are not legal documents and do not require an attorney-allow you to pass on messages of love, wisdom and inspiration to others. The very process of writing one has many benefits for the writer," she adds. "You learn about yourself while examining your values and experiences. Many who write one report a sense of deep satisfaction and closure.

"[Ethical wills are] usually shared during the writer's lifetime and can set the stage for meaningful discussions. And," reminds Elbaum, "you needn't be a great writer to write one."

For more information go to www.ethicalwill.com.

I find that my mother’s health deteriorated when she went from the hospital to the rehab center, which she since has left. I thought she wasn’t receiving the care she needed there and I was concerned about neglect and abuse. How and to whom do I file a complaint?

Depending on where you live, there may be a state statute governing nursing home resident rights that sets forth minimum standards of care, says Andrew D'Arcy, a partner at D'Arcy Law Firm, P.C., in Galloway, NJ. If you believe these standards aren't being met-anything from immediate notification of a change in condition to care that enhances your mother's dignity-"you should contact your state's ombudsman's office," D'Arcy says. "They often will accept complaints over the phone for [patients] 65 years and older. Some states also have licensing boards for nurses, which may be of assistance. And a civil complaint seeking monetary damages can be filed through the court system."

While the state ombudsman's office doesn't require evidence, D'Arcy stresses it would be helpful to have information such as "documentation of any incident, including dates and times and names of staff who were on duty when something occurred."

Also, it's important to remain vigilant. "The sad truth is that residents of nursing homes are abused and neglected every day," D'Arcy says. "Be sure to do your research and be selective when choosing a facility. Once you've made your choice, continue to be proactive."