Lessons Learned From Joan Lunden
Joan Lunden is a familiar face to millions of Americans, thanks in large part to her 20-year career co-hosting Good Morning America. Every morning we woke up to her inspiring words and positive personality.
Joan was one of the first journalists to address women’s health issues; and since her departure from ABC in 1997, she has remained an active advocate for women using her celebrity to bring a voice to those that are voiceless.
In 2014, Joan again used her voice to make another, more personal announcement: She had been diagnosed with breast cancer. At a time when it would’ve been far easier to remain silent, Joan chose to share her experience in an effort to help the millions of women who are either breast cancer survivors (I prefer to use the term cancer thrivers) or who are in the midst of their own personal challenge.
I applaud Joan’s candor when detailing the fear and anguish she and her family experienced post-diagnosis. She didn’t sugarcoat, she simply shared. She reminded others they were not alone, and that she shared their same feelings, fears and hopes for better days ahead.
One question Joan has been asked many times is, “Was there a time when you asked, ‘Why me?'” Joan’s answer: “Never. It didn’t occur to me.” This answer wasn’t about being stoic, it was about having a forward-thinking attitude and not wasting time dwelling on answerless questions. Joan refused to feel victimized by her disease.
Lesson 1
The questions we ask ourselves often becomes the context for the answers we receive. For instance, if you ask, “Why didn’t I pass the test? You’ll probably land on an answer along the lines, “Because I didn’t work hard enough,” or “I’m not smart enough.” Answers that reflect how you feel about yourself when you’re in a very vulnerable place. If instead you asked yourself, “What should I do to improve next time?”, you’ll start to see a very different type of framework take shape. This framework is grounded in positivity and forward thinking! In essence:
Your quality-of-life can be greatly influenced by the quality-of-your questions.
Another lesson learned from Joan is about the importance of keeping a positive attitude, which admittedly at times can sound a little woo-woo. It’s not!
Lesson 2
We all know we don’t have control over everything that happens to us, but we have a lot of control about the meaning we ascribe to the experience. There are significant benefits from maintaining a positive outlook. For instance, studies referenced by Dr. Bruce Lipton in his wonderful book, The Biology of Belief, clearly show that positive thinking influences body chemistry, which in turn can enhance a person’s immune system, reduce stress and increase a person's overall physical well-being.
Lesson 3
Another practice you can adopt that will positively influence your day-to-day living is the practice of mindfulness. Simply paying attention to the moment you’re in, right now, and being aware of how your body and mind are reacting to it.
For instance, I drive in and out of New York City a LOT and frequently find myself in gridlock traffic. My muscles tense, my stomach clenches, my neck tightens. If I pay close attention to this physical reaction and let go of the illusion that I can control the other drivers, I start to turn my thoughts to unclenching, unwinding and relaxing. I also replay the three-word mantra my family constantly repeats to me: take the train!
Lesson 4
Joan is a fan of journaling, which I’ve been a proponent of for nearly 45 years. Like Joan, I have found it to be a wonderful release and a helpful way to identify and reframe my feelings as I navigate the ebbs and flows of life. Let’s be honest, regardless of how close you are to family and friends, there are times when you are not comfortable sharing your innermost feelings and thoughts.
To me, journaling is more a letter to myself, no filters, no judgment. It’s just me, my pen and a piece of paper (or computer) working through my thoughts in an effort to find a path to repair and relief. I always feel better afterwards and I came to rely on journaling even more heavily after becoming a caregiver 21 years ago on February 2, 2002.
We all have our struggles, that’s just part of being human. But how we handle what we’re dealt is strictly up to us. I have always said that the great equalizer is between our ears…our choices, thoughts and responses. In many ways, we are our answer!
Like Joan, choose the life you want to live and thrive each day!
Help yourself. Help others.
